Oh. My. Gosh.

Applied at Olive Garden, interview on Monday.

Signed up for Sittercity.com, care.com and nannies4hire.com

Put ad on Craigslist for babysitting.



I need money. NOW.



Collins party is Jan 18th. I have 20 kids OVER 1 coming (5 under).

We are doing a McD's party- $9.99/child, 10x20=200!!! $200.00 for JUST the kids to come... NOT including anything else. The space, the food, the cake, just for the kids.



What about the 50+ Adults?



AAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!

The never ending cycle.

I convince my dad to spend $129 on a study guide to get me into working for the USPS. $129 I need to pay back when I get a job, fail the test, or do not land a job on the 1st interview. Well.. I finally get all the materials. For what? For me to find out that not one post office in CT is currently hiring. Not one. I can move anywhere else and apply. Just not in CT.. Maybe I should move to MD, or MA, or NJ, or RI..

Oh wait.

Can't move.
Can't move with out money.
Can't have money until I find a well paying job.
Can't find a well paying job unless I move.
Can't move without money.
Can't move.

Gotta love this vicious cycle.

Counting Cals, Photography, Parenting, Sobriety, & The Work Force

Counting Cals
Eating healthy is going great! 3 days is longer than I have ever made it. I haven't eaten over 1,500 calories in three days, but am not hungry. Now to work on including breakfast everyday. It is a pain in the butt to watch calories though, but I like having something to focus on.

Sunday: 1,445
Monday: 1,245
Tuesday: 1,169

I will probably have another snack around 9:30..



Photography 101
I just joined a new message board, http://ilovephotography.com/forums/, I probably won't frequent it as much as I do the photo-board on Just Mommies, but I will hang around a bit.

I am still struggling in Manual on my camera.. for some reason I cannot get anything but very black photo's unless it is complete daylight.. whatever, I will figure it out something.

I applied for 3 different photography positions today, hopefully someone will call. All of them provide free training, so we will see.


Bed time Blues
I have never mentioned this before, but we really have a lot of trouble getting Thomas to sleep and were starting to have the same issues with Collin. Not only did I start my diet on Sunday, but I started a new bedtime routine for the boys. 7:45 Collin gets his last bottle. We brush his teeth. By now it is 8p.m. I put on his Baby Mozart DVD. I lay him down w/ his blankey, lion, puppy, and wormy. Give him his kiss and tell him I love him and walk out. He is completely out by 8:30, so then it is Thomas's turn. He brushes his teeth, goes potty one last time and then picks a movie. I put it on, tuck him in and give him a kiss and hug and we say our I love you's. The boys are adjusting well to this. I really hope it sticks!


Sobriety
Man does it suck... I watched intervention last night and was nearly drooling over a guy sticking a needle in his arm. How freaking sick? Today I was finally given a urine at the program.. but of course, I couldn't pee. I swear unless I am pregnant or peeing on a stick I cannot go. I can't.. This sucks, I cannot progress in the program unless they know I am clean, they won't know I am clean unless I give a urine. And.. I cannot give a urine..

Also, my counselor left Friday.. So I am without a counselor.. Also, I was supposed to meet the psychiatrist for the 1st time last week but he had an emergency. I cannot reschedule that appt. until I get a new counselor, so another week or so I have to wait. I really need to build a rapport with these people so I can learn to trust them and fully open up. I need to get a lot out, figure out a lot, and learn some things about myself. And get on some medication..

The Work Force
I quit Stop & Shop 3 weeks ago, started selling kirbys, quit that.. Now I am waiting for the post office to send me my practice tests and test date. Hopefully I can get in.. At least it pays well and has awesome benefits. I would have loved to have stuck w/ Kirby, I was sooo good at it! The hours sucked though, I was never home. 8:45a-9:30-10p is way too long of a day with two small children.

Counting Cals.

So far today:
20 oz hot cocoa from gas station, 225
toms ckn noodle soup w/ 5 ritz cracker, 230
12 oz iced tea, 120
1c prepared speghetti w/ 2tbsp lobster sauce and 1 tbsp grated cheese, 260
1 tbsp reese pb chips, 80
1 brownie, 80

Yesterday, my grand total was 1445 with a few things I ate after I posted yesterday.

Figuring out settings.

I just finally figured out how to change the shutter speed and aperture on my camera :D YAY!

154?!?!

Oh no! I knew the halloween candy would do it. I knew it.. I have been pigging out, porking out, and just plain devouring chocolate, sweets, brownies, and cookies for the past 10 days. Of course some of the lbs I have lost came back.. So freaking depressing. I have always been on the heavy side. At 13 I wieghed 140 lbs. At 14 I was up to 160. 15, 150. 16, 160. 17, 180. 18, 200. 19, 180, 20, 175, 21, 214. I am still 21. Since January I have lost 64 lbs, getting me down to 150 lbs, the lowest since I was 15, six years ago. Sadly, I did not do this the right way, but I have never felt better about my physical appearance, but after cleaning up my life, my old eating habits have been returning. Now, to maintain my healthy weight, maybe drop 20 lbs more. I want to do this right! I read that to maintain my weight with my body type and metabolism I should eat 2016 Calories/day now for fat loss 1612 Calories/day and for extreme fat loss, 1232 Calories/day. I have also read cutting down more than 500 Cal/day in a short time or more, will slow my metabolism. We do not want that! Anyway, within my ramblings I will also include what I have eaten for the day, as of that post. I normally have around 2,500-3,000 calories a day. So for the next 4 days I will aim for 2,000, with 25,000 being the absolute most. Today, I was busy so it was a slow eating day for me. I find if I am bored or not busy I eat more.

So here is today, so far, I will probably eat another something before bed, always have a snack around 9, 3 hours before bedtime.
24 oz of iced tea, 240 cal.
1 So. Beach dinner, 240 cal.
1 choco. donut, 180 cal.
2 fun size candy bars, 160 cal.
1 slice of bacon, 80 cal.
16 oz hot chocolate, 225 cal.
Total: 1125 cal



I have also walked the block and raked ½ the yard.

Oh! Just an F.Y.I. my BMI is 25, making me over weight. A healthy weight for someone my height is 115-145, depending on body type. My goal is 130 lbs! 24 lbs to lose!

Another Warm Day.

I could have sworn it was November. I could have sworn October was quite chilly. I could have sworn by now, the only way we would be going outside would be bundled up.

No, not yet.