Been a while huh?

Wow, I haven't blogged in ages! So much has happened!



I am in my 2nd trimester of my pregnancy-going great, check the details (and pictures) our at my other blog The Unexpected. Oh, if boy, baby is Samual Adam; if girl, Bailey Grace Elizabeth.

My parents moved out! We are officially on our own. Tom and I in our own room. Thomas in his own real bed. Collin in his crib, when he isn't climbing out. The boys are lucky enough to have a playroom, all to themselves! They love it! I my own computer back, though it is really slow and old, I have my photoshop back! We have the backyard all to ourselves, the boys love it!
-Oh and we also have a roommate! Vinny is my brothers friend of 7 or 8 years. And helps us out with the rent, which is great! He isn't ever home when I am so it works perfectly!

Work is going great! I love waitressing so much its weird. I love the tips, the attention, and all the flirting. Who knew being pregnant would turn on so many guys? In fact, one guy actually said to me, "Man I so wanna bite the shit out of your belly!" WTF?? Whatever... Hours will be getting cut soon as the leagues are all ending, but all is well.

The meth. program sucks.. I refuse to see the shrink there anymore, as he thinks I am crazy.. Apparently I am not stable enough to take home my methadone bottles, I may OD or poison my kids or something... Fuck him. Plus he wants to prescribe me meds that are catagory X for pregnancy... Fuck him again. I really wish I could detox. I really want to detox. I believe I am ready to detox. I can't detox. Detoxing means buh-bye baby. That would be bad!

My mind is really fucking me. I am having problems decifering fact from fiction, and reality from dreams as of late, and I need to find a new shrink to discuss this shit.. Thank god for free medical now.. I am having alot of manic-down mood swings lately and rapid crazy highs.. I know I need to find a med that I can safely take while pregnany and breastfeeding. I refuse to take a med I cannot breastfeed on, or that will harm my child.

Mostly though things really are going well. Heck I am even planning my very 1st weekend EVER out of CT!

Oh! Here are my latest photos and creation from photoshop!

Nicole's Notions

Got some facts.

Finally, I know some facts.

Here's the story, Daddy is talking to a 21 year old mentally challenged pedophile. He thinks no one knows. We all thought this relationship ended last May. I guess it is still going on, behind everyone's back.

Truth is out now, she never calls him. Only three times since October. He calls her every other day, usually 4 days a week. No call is longer than 6 minutes. And usually there is two in a row.

Can it be, "Hey I am on my way."
Followed by a, "Hey I am here!"

?? Why would he call her? What does he see in her? Why would anyone want to socialize with a person who thinks its normal to violate children?


I will get to the bottom of this and make these scumbags pay.

2nd Trimester here I come!

I cannot believe I am almost 13 weeks already. I cannot wait to get far away from this dreaded 1st trimester! Between the previous miscarriage and the methadone. I just have been a nervous wreck, despite the many perfect ultrasounds.

Anyway, I forgot to post my belly picture last week so here is 11 weeks and 12 weeks, in that order. I cannot believe how cute my bump is getting, I have never been on the skinny side so with both boys I looks like I was gaining weight. This time I am alot smaller than ever, so combining that with my weight loss, I feel I look so cute, well from the neck down, LOL!

11 weeks:


12 weeks:

Baby is oh so healthy!

Since I am on the methadone, I have decided to opt for all the testing I can, so if there were something "wrong" with the baby, I could educate myself and do everything I can to provide the absolutely best life for the baby.

Yesterday was the 1st trimester risk assessement. I won't get my exact result for about a week, since I am earlier than expected when I made the appt (based on last period I should be 12 weeks not 10)

All the measurements the sonographers took were completely normal. The baby was not being very understanding when the two sonographers kept trying to make him or her move.

This bean is just like mommy as a baby, just content in the fetal position with thumb in mouth and pointer finger on nose ♥

Here are the two photo's we were given, they are 4x the size we are used to from our OB office.





Oh and I forgot to post on Monday, but here is my 10 week belly picture:


I so like the 9 week one better :P


My OB is finally worried about my weight loss, non-existant appetite and unability to keep down even fluids, so he gave me zofran.

So far so good!

Can it be true?

When the home my parents are renting went into foreclosure we were all warned. Warned we would be kickout. Turns out our 90 day mark was February 24th. Without my knowing my parents signed a month by lease, that will automatically be continued until either we decide to leave, giving Fannie Mae one months notice or until they sell the home. Giving us between 30-90 days, if the new owner has no intention of renting. This lease has more than just my parents listed. It also has my children and myself listed.

Anyway, this weekend we learned my parents are moving. They will be renting an amazingly beautiful condo perfect for them and my brother, with no room for anyone to move in with them.
Now, what this means for me is. My children and I can stay here, all we have to do is pay the rent every month. Somehow, we have finally caught a break!

It is going to tough at first. Especially since Tom is laid off and my hours will be cut at the end of league bowling season.

My in-laws will be moving in after the 1st couple months, then we will great. I can live with them. My father in-law will make sure the home is clean and my mother in-law will make sure the kids are taken care of perfectly when I am at work and will definitely help me out through out the pregnancy.

My parents I cannot live with anymore. My father and mother are both so verbally and emotionally abusive, to me, my husband, and my children.

My in-laws, I am not completely in love with, but they will do all they can to make sure my family is comfortable, for their son.

I hope to be the parents they are someday.

Less than a month now!

And I will be in my second trimester. I cannot wait to get away from the aweful first. I basically just want to know if this pregnancy is really meant to be. For me, I guess getting to the 2nd trimester means it really is.
I have not thrown up in two days. Yet, I am even more nausious than ever... Sucks to be me.
Fatigue is taking the absolute worst toll on me. I will get through. If I can make it to 13 weeks I will know just how meant to be Bailey or Samuel is.




I started a new book My Mother Wears Combat Boots.
I didn't know when I bought it, that it was pretty much all about attatchment parenting. There are a few things that this book seems to really be putting me down about regarding certain parenting ways I choose. Yet, I can't put it down. I love the author the ways she backs up all of her information with facts and research. Thats really the way you have to be as a parent!

I also took my 9 week belly picture today: