Monday, July 5, 2010

Good moms v Bad Moms

Quite a few women I know on JM have been having pregnancy and infant losses. These women have proven time and time again what wonderful mothers they are. They have the strength, maturity, and assets for their unborn child. Yet their child is taken away from them. Some fight for years to have one child, and time and time again their dreams are shattered. Some aren't even trying to conceive but when they do, they are happy and plan on providing nothing but the best for their unborn. Some after suffering such a loss can't get pregnant again either from the physical or mental stresses and fight so hard to adopt. These women just wait for their child to finally be in their arms.

Then you have these other women. Women who have nothing that belongs to them, women who everything they have is owned or was given to them by their parents or others. Women who choose sex, drugs, and alcohol over their own children time and time again. Women who rely on and make their parents raise their children. Women who will have their older child care for and do everything for the younger. Women who shouldn't every have a child but do and instead of giving this precious life to another who will and can love and support them, these women keep these poor children and let them suffer.

At one point, though it was only for 6 or so months, I was that other woman. I did spend a bit a time choosing heroin over my boys. I did rely on my parents to shelter, feed, and provide my children. But even as a heroin addict I made sure to show my children how much I loved them, not as much as I do when clean, but still I hugged and kissed and said I love you numerous times a day. I still sat on the floor playing games and reading books. The mothers I am referring to are the ones who choose going out to a bar or a movie or just a friends house over staying at home with their children, not just one night here and there, but night after night after night. The mothers I am referring to are the ones who only change a diaper or feed their child when their parents are at work and are not home.

I hope to never be that mother again, even just a little bit.

I am just so heartbroken right now. I have it so easy when it comes to pregnancy. Yes I have had a loss and yes it still hurts, but I get pregnant so easily and have had (almost) all perfect pregnancies. I would love to carry a child for a woman like this, or donate an egg or two, to do something. 

I truly hope all these women will have their child in their arms soon. And these other women grow up and take responsibility for their own children.

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