I miss it.

I want it.
I really, really want it.
I crave it.
But do I need it?
No.

It's amazing how something that came into my life, that took away that pain for a few moments, caused so much terror. It caused me to lose everything. Yet, I still want it. I still love that feeling it gives me. That amazing, no one can touch me, euphoric feeling.

I miss it.
I really, really miss it.
But will I get it?
No.

I know what it will do to me again. I know I am struggling now to fix everything and one little taste will ruin everything again.