The Unexpected: 1st Ultrasound was yesterday.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

1st Ultrasound was yesterday.

I wasn't even nervous going in. Just so excited. I get to see my little pea. 7w3d? I should see a little blob in there. We go in. Just a sac. I was going crazy in my mind. It was thinking, blighted ovum, miscarriage, everything bad that can happen and totally not thinking healthy little embryo. I don't know what to think. I want to think positively. I do not want to be thinking nothing but the bad. We had sex between Christmas and New Years. My last period was December 15th. That makes sense since I should have ovulated around December 29th. Yet.. I have posted about our mess of home pregnancy tests.. The ultrasound is putting me at 5weeks3days. Which would make my last period December 29th. And putting us having sex around Jan 12th. and getting a faint positive around Jan 22nd which is what happened.

Maybe I am looking way to far into this.. Maybe I am just a total pessimist and I will never be able to picture the glass half full. Maybe baby 3 isn't meant to be. Maybe I need a drink and a smoke, but that can't happen..

1 comment:

meFebruary 3, 2009 at 1:52 PM
Maybe you just need a hug? Wish I was there to give you one!
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I am Nicole. I am a 24 year old SAHM to three wonderful children, Thomas, Collin, & Bailey. I am very happily married to the love of my life, Tom. Tom is 7.5 years older than me, but some how we were meant to be. We started dating sometime between March and May of 2000 and were married on May 7th, 2005. We are both recovering heroin addicts. I am attempting and struggling to lose weight. I wish it were baby weight but it's not. It doesn't help I have a terrible addiction to smoothies, ice cream, and Reese's.

This is my oldest son Thomas. He is 5. He started kindergarten this year. If he isn't in school, he is wanting to play video games. And if he isn't playing video games, it's because I got on his case. He loves learning. He loves imaginative play. And he still loves his mommy. And still gives kisses and hugs in public. Our only problem is his constant whining. And I mean constant. Speaking of, if anyone has any ideas to stop the whining, I'd be very grateful. Ignoring the whining is just not working.

My once silent little 2 year old. Though he is in speech therapy, and not everyone can understand him, he is the sweetest little boy. Until you tick him off. He has quite the little temper. He is a very independent little boy, usually found playing by himself. Every thing needs to be on his terms or you will get an earful. Even with his temper and his need for everything to be his way, he will stop whatever he is doing if someone is crying, hurt, or sad. He will come and offer kisses, hugs, smiles, and laughter.

My one year old baby girl. This girl is the funniest to those she is comfortable and seems like such high maintenance to those she doesn't see as often. Almost anything can get her lip to quiver and tears to fall. Even being as sensitive as she is, she loves to giggle and play. She is always stealing phones to say "'lo" and "buh" or the remote to switch channels anytime someone is paying more attention to the television than her. There are so many little things about her I love, but she hasn't quite found her place yet. My favorite time of day with her is right before nap time and when she does wake during the night to nurse. There is something about still breastfeeding her that makes me still feel she is an infant, instead of a toddling child.