The Unexpected: 26 week belly and a random rant

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

26 week belly and a random rant

I cannot believe it. In just a few short days I will be in my 3rd trimester already. Where did the time go? I am not ready for this baby in any way shape or form. As much as this pregnancy totally sucks physically, I do not want it to be over. I really, truly love being pregnant. I love having a reason to have the big belly. I love the attention. I love having people be there to offer help and what not. I am obsessing about my weight in severe ways. I am so petrified about not losing the weight after the baby. I am still weighing less than I did when I got pregnant with the boys, but only by a couple lbs. I know one sure fire way to drop the weight quickly and to get back to my happy place, but that is not even an option I can think about. I have to do things the right way this time. I will need a lot of support after Bailey comes. I will need a lot of motivation and will power after she comes as well. I will get down to 150 lbs again. I hate being the fat chic. I hate being the one with the thunder thighs, double chin, and gushy, jiggly stomach. Which makes me so not make any sense, as I love the way I look while pregnant. Especially near the end.

Does that even begin to make sense?

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I am Nicole. I am a 24 year old SAHM to three wonderful children, Thomas, Collin, & Bailey. I am very happily married to the love of my life, Tom. Tom is 7.5 years older than me, but some how we were meant to be. We started dating sometime between March and May of 2000 and were married on May 7th, 2005. We are both recovering heroin addicts. I am attempting and struggling to lose weight. I wish it were baby weight but it's not. It doesn't help I have a terrible addiction to smoothies, ice cream, and Reese's.

This is my oldest son Thomas. He is 5. He started kindergarten this year. If he isn't in school, he is wanting to play video games. And if he isn't playing video games, it's because I got on his case. He loves learning. He loves imaginative play. And he still loves his mommy. And still gives kisses and hugs in public. Our only problem is his constant whining. And I mean constant. Speaking of, if anyone has any ideas to stop the whining, I'd be very grateful. Ignoring the whining is just not working.

My once silent little 2 year old. Though he is in speech therapy, and not everyone can understand him, he is the sweetest little boy. Until you tick him off. He has quite the little temper. He is a very independent little boy, usually found playing by himself. Every thing needs to be on his terms or you will get an earful. Even with his temper and his need for everything to be his way, he will stop whatever he is doing if someone is crying, hurt, or sad. He will come and offer kisses, hugs, smiles, and laughter.

My one year old baby girl. This girl is the funniest to those she is comfortable and seems like such high maintenance to those she doesn't see as often. Almost anything can get her lip to quiver and tears to fall. Even being as sensitive as she is, she loves to giggle and play. She is always stealing phones to say "'lo" and "buh" or the remote to switch channels anytime someone is paying more attention to the television than her. There are so many little things about her I love, but she hasn't quite found her place yet. My favorite time of day with her is right before nap time and when she does wake during the night to nurse. There is something about still breastfeeding her that makes me still feel she is an infant, instead of a toddling child.