Ramblings

I have been getting so much more traffic lately and of course have nothing I want to blog about. So, I thought I'd just update on all of us

Collin has amazed me today. For a boy who does not/can not say much at all, he really shocked me. I got what, wait, juice, thank you, cheeze its (LOL), kiss, and stop. ("wha" "way" "deuce" "dank yo'" "dees itch" "dist" and "top") He is making me oh so proud. Another Collin brag: For a few days now Collin has been asking to go potty. He pee's each time. I love that he is doing this all on his own. Makes a mama proud.

Bailey was so silly today. Everytime one of her brother talked to her or smiled at her, she'd clap. Big, big, wide-eyed smiles, with tons of clapping. It was adorable. She also discovered two cabinets tonight. The pots and pans in one and tupperware in the other. She is at that age where she is doing something new and exciting everyday. She has been randomly pulling up to standing for a week or two, but now she is doing it all.the.time! The best is when she pulls up onto my leg and I start to slowly walk, she walks along with me. I love it!

Thomas is such a good helper with Bailey. I cooked dinner tonight so hubby could fix the toilet and  as always when I step foot into the kitchen, Bailey started screaming. Thomas sat with her, in the kitchen, kept her away from Vader's dish and my feet since I was cooking with hot oil. He gave her some puffs, and he is the one who showed her the cabinets. Thomas wrote all 26 letters of the alphabet the other day. Made Mama so proud!

On to the hubby. We have been arguing a lot lately, but it's normal for this time of year. Just waiting for it to pass! He was sweet tonight though, he went and got me an iced mocha, without me even mentioning I wanted one. Then he got all three kids ready for bed, "just because."

Me...I have been really depressed and angry lately. I hate it. Yet, I am used to it. I am so glad I am still breastfeeding Bailey and it means so much to me. I have been having intense thoughts lately of using and hurting myself. It kills me to feel this way and think this way. I keep having to make myself think of other things. Like the fact that if I follow through on any of my thoughts I cannot nurse her.

I have a new counselor at the program, again, so I need to build a rapport with her before I can feel comfortable confiding in her. I know I will get through this. I always do.


OH! The biggest update! I got an email last week from a publicist at Discovery Health. She said she came across my blog and after seeing Bailey in a Snapshot Saturday post, she thought she'd be perfect for the contest they are running, now until July 1st. Winner gets their photo shown on a commercial on the DK channel, and runner-ups will get featured as baby of the day on the website! There will be 16 finalists.
I know it's not like a grand prize or anything, but it is still an amazing feeling to know someone else honestly thinks your child is beautiful.


Now, I think that is all that is going on worth mentioning. Hope everyone else is doing well!