Bailey woke at the butt-crack of dawn on her birthday. As she nursed, I laid with my eyes closed treasuring her still baby smell. I caressed her back, arms, and legs. I ran my fingers through her little bit of hair. Periodically I bent my neck to kiss her head. It was a moment I want to remember always. I did it. I have officially nursed my daughter for one whole year.
While laying there, I remembered her very first feeding. I remembered the moments when she was first placed upon my belly, into my arms. I've realized little bits and pieces of her 1st week, which was spent in the hospital, are starting to fade. The whole labor and delivery is still there, but the next day.. I don't remember that 1st full day of her life at all. Not one bit. I only remember little bits and pieces from those 5 days in the small room for mom's who have been discharged before their new baby. I don't remember much of anything from those 1.5 days in my actual room, except my lobster dinner. All I can remember is being anxious and worried about not having my pump when I was discharged, and nursing and sleeping with Bailey.
Sadly, I had a repeat with Bailey. When Collin reached his 1st year and I realized I couldn't recall anything except what was written down or in pictures before his 8th month, which is when I got clean. And now Bailey I feel I let her down as well. Only with her, I have very few pictures, nothing written down for months 2-6. I suffered quietly with P.P.D. again. It hurts me to know Thomas' 1st year is the only one I have plenty of happy memories of. So Saturday morning, I took my time getting up. I let Bailey crawl all over me after she was done nursing. We sat in bed and sang songs. I tickled her sweet chub. I held her tight. I want to remember Saturday morning forever.
Finally when Tom got up we were able to open Bailey's presents. Bailey received the most adorable pink and black outfit from my (mom's) cousin Dee. I loved it! Totally my colors, which happen to look amazing on Miss Bailey. Dee also sent along the cutest little doll. Which Collin has made into his baby. The boys, hubs, and I gave her a little musical tea set and a book that reads the words and plays music. Bailey loves books.
Thomas was supposed to have soccer at 10:30 so I took Bailey with us, only to find out it was cancelled. Since the playground we love is in the same local as the fields, I took my youngest and oldest to play. Bailey loved the swings and slides. As always.
Over the course of the past couple of weeks I have been tucking away any loose cash Tom leaves around. He knew I was doing it, and what it was going for so I think that is why I ended up with just enough for my
needs wants. Thomas, Bailey, and I went to the party store and got the decorations I have been wanting for 4 years. Ha ha!
When we arrived Tom had snacks, water, and the diaper bag packed, as well as Collin and himself ready to go. We heading to a local park to go hiking. Bailey hadn't napped yet and it was well passed her nap time so as soon as she was placed in the Moby wrap she fell right to sleep. She didn't even mind the blaring sun. It had been months since she had napped while in it.
Bailey slept until the last stretch up the mountain.
When she woke, every one we had passed was talking to her and her big brothers. Commenting on how adorable she is. Commenting on what beautiful children we have. Commenting on how we finally got a girl. Commenting on how we had our hands full.
Usually when someone says that, which happens a lot once you have more than 2 I have noticed, usually I just laugh and smile, and say "yeah" or something. Finally, one year and nine months of hearing about my full hands I had the perfect reply. "Yes, full of love." I know so mushy.. but apparently I said it. I don't remember saying it, but I am told I did.
Finally we reached castle at the top, enjoyed some healthy snacks, climbed to the top of the castle, drew in the dirt. Just played around. The boys loved it. Bailey enjoyed being able to walk around. Of course we received many more comments about her walking and how cute she was. Basically we just enjoyed the crisp fall air. It was beautiful out.
As we were about to hike to the bottom, Bailey began to fuss a bit. Back in the Moby she went, where she then nursed the whole hike down. We even were graced with the presents of a Spanish family. The father was fascinated by finally seeing a women nursing her child in the States. Apparently neither he or his wife I have seen anyone breastfeed in public since moving to the states.
Once we arrived home, Tom took the kids in while I ran to by a small, inexpensive cake for Bailey after dinner. My closest friend and her daughter came by to sing to Bailey and help us get rid of the cake.
Bailey loved her cake. I cut her a pretty large slice which she demolished! As soon as I placed it on her high chair tray, she picked the whole thing up in both hands and began chowing down!
Now we are prepping for Bailey's Birthday Bash. Special thanks to my parents, and my dearest friend Katie for helping us give our daughter the best birthday we can give. Bailey and I thank you from the bottom of our heart.
Well, I finally shared! I know I have been posting a lot about Bailey's Birthday, but after Sunday's festivities I will be done. At least until January when I can reminisce Collin's past (almost) three years.
Hope you enjoyed!