Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Survived the 1st two weeks.

I have been trying on and off since Bailey's birth to get fit, eat right, and be a healthy weight. Since her birth, I put on 25+ lbs. Yep I said it. My highest weight ever (not pregnant). 205 lbs. Whew. That was hard. This is the 1st time I am saying it out loud. Two weeks ago, today, I said screw it. We had finished dinner early. Another dinner of me filling my plate and not stopping until it was empty. Just they way I was taught growing up. There are starving children in China, don't ya know? Must always eat everything on your plate. Always. Or there would be beatings, televisions and toys taken away, and being locked in bedrooms only to be allowed to eat or use the bathroom. Needless to say I have always been one to clear my plate. Even when dieting.

I am done dieting. I am done having a gym membership that I only use a few times a month-if that. I need a lifestyle change.

Heard this before? Yeah, I said it before. I've attempted before. Yet, something seems different. I've never taken before pictures before. I've never taken measurements before. I've never successfully logged my calories more than a few days before. I've never gone to the gym 4 times in a week before. I've never worked out at home more than 4 times a week before.

I have gone to the gym every single day for the past two weeks, some days twice. Yes, my body is sore, but last night I saw some results. While attempting a beginners yoga video, I was able to touch my toes without bending my knees! May not seem like a big deal to most, but for me this is huge. I've not been able to touch my toes since elementary school. I've been aiming for 60+ minutes of cardio daily and strength training and toning 4 days a week. I've also started the Couch to 5 K program (C25K) Today will be W(week)2D(day)2! It is so hard! With each hour leading up to actually getting on the treadmill, I dread those running jogging intervals. During each run jog I push myself until I can't push no further. And I am doing it. It was so hard last week when I began. That 1st 60 second run jog nearly killed me. I pushed through. Monday when I started W2, that 1st 90 second run jog I saw a flash of white. I pushed through. I never stick with anything too long, so I am petrified off falling off the wagon. Eating is my biggest problem, which I didn't realize until I took a good look at my diet. Thanks to financial problems, I am no longer drinking my Starbucks Vivanno's, Dunkin' Donut's Latte's, McDonald's Smoothies. I am still having my nightly bowl of ice cream after the kids go to bed, but that is better than a 1/4 of a lb size bag of Reese's. And I've cut my portion size down. I am no longer filling my bowl completely to the top. Now it is 2/3 of the way. Baby steps people! I want these changes to last a lifetime.

Speaking of portions.. When making myself a bowl of cereal, I measured out the correct amounts. Wow. I was eating 3x the amount recommended in one bowl! I have a lot to change. I have time to change it though. I have a lifetime to make lifetime changes. And I will.

I have to pictures I want to share here. Hopefully to hold myself accountable. They are on Facebook, in an album viewable only to me. I am afraid to show them but if I can run jog 90 seconds straight, I can do this too. And I will share my *gasp* measurements as well... So scary!

Neck: 13.5''
Bust: 41"
Hips: 41"
Arms: (Left) 15.5" (Right) 15"
Thighs: (Both) 28"

That was hard. No going back now. I must continue this journey. I have a minimum of 50 lbs to lose. I want to lost 60. My starting BMI was 34.1; I am currently at 33.1. Both of which are in the obese range. I really want to get down to a healthy weight. Not obese, not overweight, but healthy. To just move from "obese" to "over wieght" I need to get down to 179 lbs. The heaviest I should be and still be in the healthy range is 149.5. I could only dream of being in the 140's! 135 would put me right smack dab in the middle of the healthy range. I don't see that ever happen. 149 would be amazing!

Most people say I hide my weight well. I think everyone is blind. While others found me sickly when I was down to 150 lbs just two years ago, I was also coming off of Heroin. This time I will not have track marks on my arms and hands and that anorexic look. I will do this right. For my children. For myself. 

Just because I am really trying with this C25K program, I also would like to share my 1st week, and start of the 2nd with you.
Week One:
     28:46 min; 1.45 miles

    28:54 min; 1.65 miles
    27:14 min; 1.63 miles

    Week Two:
    30 min; 1.82 miles

    Today I will do W2D3, hopefully. Unfortunately, the gym is closer than anywhere I'd like to do this outside. And my only way of tracking my distance.

    I've also been working out on the Wii Fit and Gold's Gym Cardio Workout (Wii).
    I aim to do 30 minutes of free step while watching television. And Gold's Gym while the kids are occupied. I usually sweat like a pig when working out. Thank you Methadone. Love that side effect. The Cardio workout is intense for someone as out of shape as I am. But I love it! Nothing like punching away stress.

    Anyway, I've attempted to use this blog to hold myself accountable before. Here's to hoping this time is the charm! I'd love to be 149 lbs by next May!

    Be satisfied eating proper portion sizes.
    Size 9 jeans.
    Size med top.
    No muffin top! 
    Run 5 K with out walking
    Keep up with kids when playing outside and running around.
    50 push ups.
    10 pull ups.
    Ability to get up from the ground without struggle.
    Ability to do yoga poses! 
    Bend over with out my stomach getting in the way. 

    I just don't want to look like this anymore:

    I'd much rather be like this:


    1 comment:

    1. That must have taken an *extreme* amount of courage to put all that information AND pictures up here, but I applaud you for doing so and for making the commitment. And two weeks! Awesome! Keep it up! (that's easy to say and hard to do, but I really do mean it and I hope you do)



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