Monday, April 26, 2010

Monday's Memory.

When I was just thirteen I was going through a pretty rebellious stage. I was shoplifting, skipping school, and running away from home and only interested in older boys. My parents had enough and sent me to move in with my Aunt. While living with my aunt I had slept in the living room on the couch. I remember one night, it was pretty late, probably the wee hours of the morning, I heard the door being unlocked. Then walked in the most attractive man I had ever seen. He whispered sorry to me and walked through the room, into my cousins. I laid on the couch hoping he would come out of the room to use the bathroom, or get something out of the kitchen, or to leave. Just so I could get another glimpse of him. Eventually I fell back to sleep.

When I awoke in the morning, I woke up to my cousin messing around on the computer and this guy sitting across the room staring at me, smiling. I laid there just looking back at him, half asleep. When I got up off the couch, I found out his name was Tom and I had known him when I was younger, he was my cousin's friend for years. Since he was there and I couldn't take my eyes off of him, I decided to skip school to hang out with my cousin and Tom. We went to the batting cages. Cousin went off to hit some baseballs, leaving Tom and me to play arcade games. I was so shy at first, barely making conversation. He kept smiling and talking. I kept blushing and smiling back. After we got back to my aunts, Tom left, and my cousin made fun of me for having a crush on a 20 year old. I couldn't help it. He talked to me as if I were an adult all day. He was kind, smart, funny, and of course I thought he was hot.

I kept skipping school to spend time with them, and I kept fantasizing about being with him. On a date, holding hands, kissing. I kept imagining him pulling me aside to tell me he liked me too.

A couple weeks later my aunt and cousin were working the night shifts and it was just myself, my aunts husband, his niece, and of course Tom. My aunts husband (total jerk and perv) thought it would be a great idea to get some booze. His niece and I were psyched. We were 13 and 14 years old and were going to party! I decided to walk the dogs since my aunt husband was too drunk to do it and I was the most sober. Tom came with me. We walked to the end of the block and back just chatting about why I was living there. He told me he was "glad I moved in."
When we got back to the house I stopped him on the front porch and quickly kissed him. He backed away, told me he really liked me but I was just a kid. I felt like an idiot. We went in and I ignored him for a few hours. My aunts husband and his niece went to bed and Tom came over and sat next to me. He told me he was attracted to me, told me I was really cool, and other sweet comments. He continued by saying we could be friends.

Fast forward another week or, I stayed home from school, again, and he came over, not expecting me to be there. We were alone. I made another move. At first he stopped me again. I said I was sorry and moved to the other end of the couch. He came over to me, put his hand by my neck and lifted my chin. He then kissed me. It was the most amazing moment of my life.
We started sneaking around to be alone together. We couldn't tell anyone know one would understand. I bet many people reading this don't understand. Heck I still don't understand!

We used to meet up in the middle of the night down the street from the house, in the woods. We had a tent set up, that we spent an hour or two a night in sometimes just talking, sometimes more. This went on for a few months, until I got caught. They knew I had been seeing him. My cousins were going to kick his ass, my aunt was going to press charges, and I was petrified of losing him and of him going to prison.

He did end up going to prison, but for other charges. My aunt never ended up pressing charges. Tom was locked up for 10 long months. I moved back home to my parents. We stayed in contact, with him mailing me at a friends house so my parents wouldn't know. Then I stopped writing him. He called my house worried about me, my mom answered. According to my mother, he told her he was worried about me. Told her how much he loved and cared for me. Told my mother, he wanted to marry her 14 year old daughter. She, for some unknown reason, gave us a chance. Letters then started coming to my house, which we hid from my father. I had gone back to my old ways of running away and messing around (not sleeping with) random guys.

May 18th, 2001 he was released. I couldn't wait to see him. My mom knew how much I wanted to see him so she asked him to get her cigarettes and said I could go with him if we didn't take too long. When he pulled up to the house. I knew it. I was in love. I ran up to him and wrapped my arms around his neck, I never wanted to let go. We went to the store, sat in the car for almost an hour just talking and kissing. It felt so good to be back with my man. He told me that night he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. He told me I had changed him. I had made him want to grow up. I had made him want to do more with his life. Before he went to prison he was a heroin addict. Because of me he wanted to stay clean.

Obviously things worked out for us. We both feel if we could do it again, we wouldn't though because of our ages at the time. Tom still feels extreme guilt for being with me at such a young age. We are still so happy together. We still feel the same way as we did 10 years ago.

We both are loving spending our lives together.


  1. Great post, and the first time you mentioned his name I figured it was your Tom. :D Personally, I see nothing wrong with the start of y'all's relationship.

  2. Found your blog through Mommy Blogs on FB. Just wanted to let you know that as crazy as it all sounds, it has a perfect ending! Great story!!! And you know... people make a big deal about it now, but even in the early 1900's people were married at 13-14 years old. My great grandparents were married at 13 and 17y. old. I think it's neat :)

  3. While I'm sure it's not a model for everyone to follow (and I'd sure kick any 20 year old guy who tried to get with my 14-year-old daughter, I guarantee!), in this case I'm glad it worked out for the both of you, as it looks like you're a great couple, very supportive, and excellent parents together. Congratulations on probably beating every statistic out there against such a relationship working out and making it happen for so long -- and hopefully for many more years!

  4. Wow. What a crazy story!! I laughed, and have to agree with Nathan that I'd have my husband kick the butt of any 20 yr. old trying to date my younger daughter in the distant future-- but I'm glad it worked out for you too!!!

    Just wanted to stop by and say "hi" and thanks for stopping by my blog the other day! Every time the cushions have come off the couch this week I think of you with your 3 little ones!!

  5. Its funny Tom and I think back to it and if either of our boys are over 18 dating anyone under 16, or Bailey even THINKS about dating someone over 18 as a teen, well they'd all be locked in the basement.



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