The Unexpected: Another week, another worry? Not yet!

Monday, May 25, 2009

Another week, another worry? Not yet!

I cannot wait to see your first breaths.
To see your face for the very first time.
To hold your little hand in mine.
To hold you in my arms.

Another week has gone by. I know my week day is Saturday, but I just happen to like Monday's better.. That is just me, feels more like the start of the week.

This time last week, I was having terrible pains, again. Bad enough to warrant a trip to the E.R. where I was then sent to the L&D unit at Yale. There, they found I was having real contractions. Yet, they were not worried. Yale is never worried. If I were at my Milford Hospital, maybe they would have shown more concern, seeing how worried I was.

Yes, for the 1st time in 5 pregnancies, I am afraid.
I am afraid that all the research I have been reading will mean nothing and the methadone will have a terrible affect on Bailey Grace.
I am afraid that all the cramping, not including what I know is just stretching, will lead to premature L&D.
I am petrified of delivering early, though deep down I really do not think that will happen.. It's just common with methadone babies...

There you have it, my first little girl, is already causing me stress and worry.

1 comment:

TrishMay 25, 2009 at 4:47 PM
Can't relate to the methadone part, but I worried the whole time I was pregnant with Bella, and I never worried at all with the boys. Girls.
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I am Nicole. I am a 24 year old SAHM to three wonderful children, Thomas, Collin, & Bailey. I am very happily married to the love of my life, Tom. Tom is 7.5 years older than me, but some how we were meant to be. We started dating sometime between March and May of 2000 and were married on May 7th, 2005. We are both recovering heroin addicts. I am attempting and struggling to lose weight. I wish it were baby weight but it's not. It doesn't help I have a terrible addiction to smoothies, ice cream, and Reese's.

This is my oldest son Thomas. He is 5. He started kindergarten this year. If he isn't in school, he is wanting to play video games. And if he isn't playing video games, it's because I got on his case. He loves learning. He loves imaginative play. And he still loves his mommy. And still gives kisses and hugs in public. Our only problem is his constant whining. And I mean constant. Speaking of, if anyone has any ideas to stop the whining, I'd be very grateful. Ignoring the whining is just not working.

My once silent little 2 year old. Though he is in speech therapy, and not everyone can understand him, he is the sweetest little boy. Until you tick him off. He has quite the little temper. He is a very independent little boy, usually found playing by himself. Every thing needs to be on his terms or you will get an earful. Even with his temper and his need for everything to be his way, he will stop whatever he is doing if someone is crying, hurt, or sad. He will come and offer kisses, hugs, smiles, and laughter.

My one year old baby girl. This girl is the funniest to those she is comfortable and seems like such high maintenance to those she doesn't see as often. Almost anything can get her lip to quiver and tears to fall. Even being as sensitive as she is, she loves to giggle and play. She is always stealing phones to say "'lo" and "buh" or the remote to switch channels anytime someone is paying more attention to the television than her. There are so many little things about her I love, but she hasn't quite found her place yet. My favorite time of day with her is right before nap time and when she does wake during the night to nurse. There is something about still breastfeeding her that makes me still feel she is an infant, instead of a toddling child.