35 wk appt and ultrasound.

My appt went great, u/s was perfect. Fluid is back up in the normal range, which I attribute to my huge increase in water and taking it easy as I was told to do by my OB at my last visit. Bailey's measuring 5 lbs 1 oz and her heartbeat was 127 BPM. I mentioned to the u/s tech that Bailey's activity level has decreased tremendously in the past 24-36 hours, and she says it is most likely going to be more shifting instead of kicks and jabs due to her size and because she is "running out of room." Which is what I was thinking so I am happy with the reasoning.

I gained 1 lb since last week, so +9 lbs total now. My BP was 102/62, which is where it usually is. And lastly, my urine was fine.

My OB was very happy with every thing and told me I can take next week off from seeing him, and come back in two weeks to officially start my weekly appointments. I will be 37 weeks then. I will also have yet another u/s to make sure she is still head down and to reassess her size.

I finally got a couple answers out of him as well. He will definitely be delivering Bailey and I will definitely be having her in the same hospital I have had the boys, which is what I wanted all along. I have to call the kids pediatrician and the hospital as well, to discuss what the plan of care will be when Bailey is born. I have been told by the nurse at the meth. clinic to count on Bailey being in the hospital at least 1-2 weeks, if she is perfectly healthy. The withdrawal symptoms can take 3-5 days just to make an appearance so that scares me a bit..

Right now I am really struggling with knowing she will definitely not be coming home with me. Tom will not be able to take any time off at all, since he has just recently gone back to work. So I am struggling with knowing that I will have to do everything on my own, driving up to see her, bringing Thomas to and from school 3x/wk, taking care of Collin all day.. It is so overly important for me to make nursing Bailey work and I am scared out of my mind that she won't take to it, since I won't be with her 24/7. And this is the downfall to me delivering at my hospital. It is 25 minutes away, which isn't a big deal whatsoever, but the other one is 5-10 minutes away and I have problems staying awake behind the wheel. Unless I am just driving in town and only driving for 10 minutes at a time tops, I cannot keep my eyes from closing while driving. And the last thing I need to hurt or kill myself or someone else. So I need to find someone close by that can help me with the boys, and getting to and from the hospital X amount of times each day...

I am just so scared about everything now that I am so close.. I'll just stop rambling.. I put myself in this situation and now I just gotta deal with it..