Random Tuesday Thoughts

Last night, or early this morning, I could have strangled my younger two. I swear Bailey and Collin were up every 45-60 minutes last night. On opposite shifts. It all started when I went to bed at 1 am. Well I went to bed at midnight but finally was starting to feel sleepy around 1. And Bailey woke up. It felt like I just got her calmed down when Collin came in. We tried co-sleeping with Bailey, keeping Collin in bed. Tried co-sleeping with Collin, putting Bailey back in her crib. Tried co-sleeping with both. At 5 am I gave up. I dealt with Collin who was up, again, and curled up on the couch hoping to block them out. I just wanted my husband to do the night shift for once. Then Bailey began to fuss from her crib. The hubs, instead of getting her like I would do, started snapping his fingers at her to calm her down. What the hell is that supposed to do? Needless to say I went in. Changed her, and put her right next to him. "Will that make it easier?" I asked, followed by walking out and shutting the door. As soon as my eyes started closing again it was Collin's turn. Fortunately, I did manage to get an hour or so of sleep after that before needing to get up to get Thomas ready for school.

I came across an ad on Craigslist the other night, by a mom photographer looking for someone to just photograph her son's birthday party so she could enjoy it. Just clicking and burning to a disc. I could do that! So I replied. I haven't heard back so I doubt I will but it was nice to dream for a minute. Especially since she ended her ad with saying something along the lines of If the photos are good, I am also looking for an assistant. Eh, the dreams I started dreaming. I would love to find a real photographer out their to take me under their wings. 

Speaking of jobs, I was asked if I would be interested in bartending a Valentines party. Yes, that is a ways away, but it's money!

And speaking of photography, my cousin wanted to know if I could do a family shoot for her and her daughters portraits! It would be for free, but the exposure is nice. I need to find a way to make some cash... 

On the financial; side, the hubs did finally get a reply from his Craigslist ad. A pretty decent sized job. He was paid half yesterday which went straight to our phone/cable/internet bill. So that stayed on this morning! W00T! And he is supposed to be paid for a small job he did last week for my father. That will go to my electric as long as my dad doesn't screw us over, again. 

I've mentioned having to apply for food stamps and not hearing a thing about it, right? Well I finally got a hold of someone yesterday. My application was processed on the 14th but has yet to be assigned a worker. What the....? I have a worker. I've been on food stamps. I've had the same worker for a while now since I am still on state medical. So much for emergency food stamps in 7 days. Unless the comes through before Bailey's birthday party will have no food. It's not like we are planning on going all out. Cake, coffee, chips, cold-cuts, soda, juice, water. 

On the note of Bailey's 1st birthday party, I want to know if this makes me selfish.. Please be honest. Maybe I am being an idiot. Bailey is my 1st and only daughter. And unless there is a huge oopsie, our last child. With each of the boys we went all out on decorations, (home made) cakes, goody bags, games and food. I want the same for my daughter. Food is already being cut down, and I am not skimping on the cakes I have been planning for almost a year, but I am really stressing on the decorations and goody bags. I want people to walk in and be blinded by the amount of pinkness. Pink streamers, balloons, pink "1" center pieces, and wall decorations. I want to deck out her high chair with a little tray skirt, all in pink. She already has two of the most gorgeous outfits to wear, her party has to match. Then the goody bags, They are just plain clear cellophane bags that say happy birthday, but I want them filled with ring pops, candy necklaces, temp. tattoos, pink gum balls, skittles (in the pink bag) and so on, oh and I found these little magic wands, 4/$1! and matching swords for the same price! How cute would those be for the boys and girls? We have a lot of kids coming... Oh the stress! So yeah, I have been freaking out about it more than likely not being anything I want. 1st birthdays are my absolute favorite to plan and decorate. And now... Well, now I am being told "it's no big deal, she won't remember it anyway" by anyone and everyone. And yes they are right, but I still want to go all out like I did for my boys. So am I being selfish?